I Can Choose

I've been going through some materials I saved from my previous job recently.  I had some cleaning to do, as well as hunt for a refresher to help me handle the nearly five year old "attitude" I've been getting from Aidan lately.  He's been moody, sassy, and angry, which makes me moody, sassy, and angry right back at him.  I know, how mature and adult of me, I'm the parent, right?

As I dug through copies of trainings I've done, and notes I've taken, I found a couple of books I purchased at a conference that I had forgotten about; I Choose and I Choose Too, written by Suzin Helen Carr and illustrated by her son.  One is geared toward children, the other toward adults.  Both are very simple and short reading material that focus on how we make choices every day, from the actions we take, to the attitudes we project to others.     

http://illuminatedpublishing.com/

As I re-read I Choose Too, it reminded me that I ultimately have the choice in how I react to Aidan's behavior.  Do I choose to let it get under my skin, get into a power struggle, and likely make the situation worse?  Or do I choose to stop, take a breath, and remind myself that he is a child, testing his boundaries and his place in the world?

A child's brain can exercise the use of some executive thinking skills, like problem solving and self-control.  But the brain also takes around twenty-five years to mature and fully develop those skills.  That being said, a child most likely does not realize he or she has a choice when it comes to their emotion driven behaviors.  I needed a reminder that I have a choice, and I'm thirty-one!

Aidan saw me looking through the books the other week and asked what I was reading.  "It's about making choices."  I told him.  We looked at the book together and talked about what it meant for us, for me, and for him.  It was a perfect way to take what we'd been battling over and make it neutral.

I can choose to observe what triggers his attitude.
I can choose to be aware of what triggers me.
I can choose to teach him what appropriate tools are available to him.
I can choose to teach my child that he has a choice, instead of forgetting to focus on what's more important!

What do you do to remind yourself that you have a choice?  How do you help teach your children that they have a choice?

**Check out the link under the image above if you're interested in finding out more about Suzin Carr's books.  This post was not sponsored.**