Friday, April 25, 2014

He Was Learning All Along

How easy is it for you to look back on a day, week, or month, and pick out what drove you crazy, or upset you to the point of making it a miserable day with your kids or your class?  What was happening that made you believe they were "pushing your buttons?"  Why did you feel that way?  Where were you when it was happening?

I've been having many frustrating days with my own, looking for the root of the problem, looking for the solution.  Talking with my husband about it.  Wondering if it was really so important that it warranted the power struggle that ensued, and shouldn't have happened in the first place.

I had an epiphany at the end of one particular day, when I proclaimed that I was worn down so far that "I didn't care."  Inside I really did, but I was so stuck about turning myself around that I couldn't see past the miserable part.  I realized I needed a fresh set of eyes....

My son wasn't trying to deface our furniture, or his arms with marker... he was testing out how it felt on different surfaces, and learning what was OK, and not OK to draw on.

My son wasn't trying to spoil his dinner by sneaking food out of the cupboard... he was learning how to help himself when he felt hungry.

My son wasn't trying to hurt himself by running toward the road....he was learning where it is OK, and not OK to walk.

My son wasn't running through the pile of leaves I had raked up to upset me...he wanted to see what would happen and how far they would fly.

My son wasn't saying "no," and refusing to listen to my directions only because he didn't want to....he was also testing his boundaries, and wanted to know what to expect from me.

A different perspective helps me figure out how to redirect, and what to say.  It helps me choose a better mood, a better reaction, and a better response.

What have you seen your children experimenting with and learning from with a "different pair of eyes?"

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